Influences

Being vegan today is easier than ever.  At least in most parts of Europe and the U.S.  Besides the ready, easy, inexpensive year-round access to vegetables, nuts and legumes, there are plenty of junk food and analogs.  Analogs are those foods that are still vegan but look, and sometimes even taste, like their meat counterparts.  Chicken nuggets, chicken fillets, meatballs, ice cream, even fish! (If you like Van de Kamp's fish fillets then you will like the vegan substitute by Gardein). I'm not saying these things are good for you.  Far from it.  I think these analogs are just junk food in a vegan suit.  But they are there and for those who are new to the wonderful world of veganism, they can be the difference between someone eating animals or not eating them.  Add to all of this the fact that more and more restaurants and major chains are providing vegan options, how could the world get any better?!

So you think that would be the end of it.  Veganism, a plant-based diet or a kind-diet (slightly different ideologies behind each, but all have the same results - less animals being killed) is easy and therefore there is no reason to turn back.  But that isn't the end of it.  As it turns out there are influences in our life that will challenge everything and anything we believe.  Some of those influences may make following our convictions and ideologies very, very difficult and sometimes even impossible.  One of those "influences" came knocking on my door a little over a year ago.  Depression.

I am technically bipolar II.  But I've been able to deal with it most of my life because it visited so rarely. At least the full blown effects stayed at bay most of the time.  And when they did hit I had no idea what they were.  So I just muscled through.  It was life. Everyone experienced life this way.  I was just being a wimp.  I'll just pull myself up by my bootstraps and move on.  Onward and upward!

Until I couldn't.

I entered into a period of depression that was the worse I had ever experienced.  It was so bad I was having problems performing basic functions.  Walking took herculean effort.  The things I once loved meant nothing to me.  I longed to go to bed and I dreaded waking up.  I had a family to support so I couldn't stop.  Killing myself wasn't an option even though suicidal ideation was a frequent visitor.  I found myself wishing someone would run me over. Then it wouldn't be my fault and I could be rid of the mental anguish I was feeling.  Life sucked.

It was about this time that I changed my diet from vegan to vegetarian.  I simply didn't care much.  I still had enough conviction to not start eating animals, but eggs and dairy were back on the menu.  It freed me up to not have to think so hard about it.  When I went out to eat, or work ordered food, I didn't have to ask any questions.  I didn't have to think about how I was going to eat vegan in a predominantly meat-eating environment.  It didn't help my depression.  In fact, it may have made it worse as I cut across the grain of my convictions.  But it required less effort and less thought and that was good enough for me.

Thank God! I didn't start eating meat.  I don't hate myself for what I did eat.  And I am not sure, under the circumstances, I could have made any other decision.  But I certainly won't be as quick to judge others for their decisions without knowing more about what they are going through.

I am back on medication and things are looking better.  I'm starting to slough off the non-vegan foods and ease my way back into the kind eating lifestyle I once loved.  But it has been a long road and I am sure the journey has a few more bumps in store for me. 

Influences.  You never really know what they are or how they will affect you until they happen.  The "I will never" and "Not me" mentality is good but perhaps premature.  All we can do is stand by our convictions as strongly as we can and, when we fall get back up, dust ourselves off, and have another go at it.  As for me, you will get no judgement here.  I've been where you are and we are in this together. 

Doubt

Sometimes a person comes along who holds a set of beliefs or convictions which they never doubt.  They always move forward, always stand strong, never question, never waver. They are a rock.  I am not one of those people.  In fact, if we were all going to take a few minutes and play the honesty game, you might admit you are not one of those people either.

But that’s ok!  It really is.  Only in a society defined by media sound bites, whitewashed, sterilized social media exploits and in possession of an overly simplistic view of the world do we condemn thoughtful and valiant struggles with doubt. No one can respect someone who waffles between views or always seems to be “loosing their religion” for the next thing out there.  Being open-minded is one thing; being so open-minded that your brain is always falling out is another.  I suspect somewhere between unquestioning loyalty to one’s convictions and being a Marvin milk toast is the spectrum most mere mortals reside.  The place where convictions are held, questioned, doubted and reaffirmed or changed on a fairly continual cycle.  Perhaps this cycle is very slow moving or only repeats itself once or twice, but it is there.  It may spin more quickly at the birth of a conviction or after a crises of faith or perhaps after a long period of unwavering and steadfast belief.  But for most of us that cycle is there and doubt does show its head eventually if not regularly.

I inherently distrust someone who tells me he or she never doubts their convictions.  I find myself wondering if the person either doesn’t truly understand what he believes or, at least, thought hard and deep about it.  It is like talking to someone who claims to love the desert and when asked what they think about snow, forests and the ocean they wave their hand and dismissively say, “I’ve never seen or heard about such things and I don’t care”.  I’m not saying you have to experience everything in order to determine you love or hate it, but you should at least know why you love what you do and not love what you don’t.  I can say I would hate to be divorced and that I love being married without ever being divorced by understanding, at a bare minimum, that I wouldn’t like to be not-married.  In other words, I have put some effort into thinking about the matter and some of that thinking came as a direct result of struggle through my marriage (Let me make it clear that my wife and I have never  come close to getting a divorce or even separating.  But we have had our share of struggles that caused me to doubt the permanency of our relationship and consider what would happen if my wife left me.  She never did and, I dare say, never would, but that assurance only comes as a byproduct of my - not my wife’s - struggle through the doubts while at the same time not giving up on the reality of our commitment to one another).

Sometimes I have doubted my stand concerning veganism. Certain convictions drive my vegan lifestyle.  The conviction that animals are more than just consumable “things”.   The conviction that one person can make a difference.  The conviction that even if one person can’t make a difference to anyone else, it can make a difference to me and that matters.  The conviction that, even though my religion (another conviction) may allow for the killing of animals and even commanded it it at one time - albeit no longer, we can make a choice to not harm animals and that is a good, honorable and holy thing.

But sometimes I doubt.

My first response to doubt is typically panic.  How could I even be thinking of doubting my convictions?   But the worse thing we can do is ignore the doubt.  Dismissing doubt as non-consequential isn’t strength but weakness.  It takes strength to look doubt in the face and put up a fight.  Sometimes doubt leads to change and that can be good in some causes.  We certainly want a potential murderer to doubt whether murder is a good idea and, as a result of the doubt, change his mind.  But even in cases where change is needed fighting is a good thing. If we never listened to our doubt we would never change when it was important we do so and we would never have the opportunity to grow stronger in our convictions in the same way a fighter grows stronger every time he faces an opponent. On the other hand If we changed every time we had doubt we would never stand up for anything.

Every time I have doubted my convictions for becoming and remaining vegan I have had to think hard about why I am vegan (this is where the fight begins).  I have had to reexamine my position, rehash old arguments, read articles (both old and new) and talk things over with friends.  In each and every case I have finished the fight against my doubt not, in this case, changing my convictions but having my convictions strengthened.  I have shored up areas of compromise and even learned a few new arguments in favor of being vegan.

At one time I wished I could tell people I never doubted.  But now see things differently.  I see it as a badge of honor.  I see doubt as a battle scar that tells others and myself that I have fought the good fight, I’ve met the opponent and I was victorious. So embrace the doubt.  Don’t see it as a threat but  rather a check to your convictions.  Either you use the doubt to help you strengthen your convictions or you use the doubt to change your convictions.  Either way, if you fight thoughtfully and deeply, you will win.

FARM video

Take some time to watch the following video produced by FARM.  It is perfect for passing out to friends and family.   It gets to the point without showing shocking and disturbing photos and footage.

The smell of fishy

Well, we should have seen it coming.  Even though there was great effort by concerned consumers to stop the inevitable, cooperate America won yet another battle against personal freedom and common sense as the FDA recently approved the sale of GM salmon.  Here is the FDA's response.

What is maddening to me is the insane persistence of regulatory agencies to tow the party line when it comes to safety and containment of GMO's.  Reading the above document you get the sense that they actually believe that GM salmon can be contained and that there is absolutely no evidence that GMO's are harmful to both the health of consumers and agriculture in general.   But then the FDA has been in the pockets of big Ag for a long time so nothing should surprise us now.

Also not surprising but worth noting is that the FDA will not require labeling of GM salmon.  So if you are into eating salmon from a store or restaurant, you will be fed this stuff and not even know it.  For most Americans that is fine as we tend to prefer ignorance over truth anyway.  But once these man made experiments escape into the wild (and escape they shall), even those who fish for natural salmon will find they are instead catching and consuming something created in a lab and not natural at all.  Bon appetit!

Yet another problem with the FDA's bungle is that the problem with fish farms isn't that the fish don't grow fast enough.  The problem with these farms isn't all that dissimilar to what we see coming out of factory farms.  Disease, suffering and prodigious waste that is ruining our waterways and environment.  But it is clear the FDA isn't really interested in animal welfare or the environment, never mind that of consumers.

The best we can do now is educate the public so that there is not a single restaurant or grocery store chain that will sell the stuff.  But I am afraid it is too late.  It won't be long before GM salmon is spotted in the wild and the FDA and AquaBounty (the company producing the fish) scramble all over each other to deny they had anything to do with it.

I may write more about this in the coming days because there are some questions I have concerning the FDA's response and what their response might be when the fish get out or concerns about health and eating these fish go from theory to reality.

A little inconvenience

If I, as one person, can somehow decrease, even just a little, the suffering that happens in this world, whether that of a human or an animal, then I am glad to do so.  If I can do that simply by not eating certain foods or purchasing certain materials then what could be easier?  It is such a simple asceticism one that, in the grand scheme of life, hardly can be accurately called asceticism.

I asked, "What?! I can change the life of another fellow creature for the better by not eating dairy and meat and not wearing their skins?  It can't be that easy, can it?"  I sought to answer my own question and discovered to my wonderment and growing excitement that it is that easy.  It has, as of this posting, been over four years and I am still discovering.

I help animals, that much is obvious.  But what about humans?  Yes, humans too.  For those who kill are also effected even if we don't want to admit that.  Killing, killing and more killing.  Millions of suffering animals are harvested for their "resources" by humans each year and they are effected by it.  Sometimes physically but most of the time mentally.  I'll hear objections for hunters or those who own a couple of chickens that the effects certainly can't be all that bad.  They themselves don't notice any and they kill.  But what they fail to see is that a little pin prick on the hand can hardly be noticed, but chop the hand off or fill it with gangrene and the situation becomes more desperate, more noticeable.

Each time I am inconvenienced by having to abstain from a meal or walk past a pair of shoes or a jacket, instead of feeling inconvenienced, I will feel peace and gladness that I could help some worker or creature by this little inconvenience.

Sufferer

I am not against those who provide sustenance
For themselves and their family.  I'm not standing in judgement of them
Nor am I affirming their actions.
Their own conscience must do that.
What is going on in the slaughterhouses is not for sustenance but
For gluttony.
Gluttony is a poison, a vice, a disease, a sin that hurts and maimes.
If we claim to be people of peace, love and compassion and
Condone or worse, ignore what is going on
In these places of suffering and death
Then we are hypocrites and liars.
We are self deluded.
Then we are participants in and enablers of their suffering.
I am against gluttony. I am against the ignorance and dispassion that allows it. I Abhor and grieve the suffering it brings, not only to the one who suffers
But to those causing the suffering.  They are both, ultimately, suffering.

What's in a name?

The World Health Organization (WHO) has released its guidelines on naming diseases that infect humans.  Basically they want the practice of using the names of people, places and animals stopped (For the record, I would be totally honored to have a disease named after me).  The reason given by WHO is that such naming conventions can have a negative impact on the economy.  We actually saw this with bird flu, mad cow disease and swine flu.   So it is understandable that people would be a bit nervous about this, especially if you have a vested interest in the economy such as with a farmer or meat processor, food retailer, etc.

One thing to keep in mind is that what the guidelines are not saying is that current naming conventions are not ever accurate.  The fact is, sometimes they are.  Swine flu actually did originate within the swine population of factory farms according to the CDC (read all about it here).

Although I appreciate the need to protect the economy and livelihood of those who are dependent on it remaining strong for their particular sector, I am concerned that this is not going to ultimately help another very important part of the economy: the consumer.  You and me.   Distancing people from the ultimate problem, factory farming in the case of the examples I mentioned, is only going to feed the typical problem most of us have when it comes to danger: see no evil, hear no evil.  We seem to lack object permanence when it comes to danger.  If I close my eyes, it isn't there.  On top of that, those in control of the market, although often aware of the danger to the public, do whatever they can to make sure the public remains unaware (Just ask Oprah Winfrey and note the continuing battle for Ag-Gag laws).  Let's face it, knowing that pig farms are producing deadly flues and eating hamburger can cause symptoms reminiscent of Alzheimer's does make some people, especially consumers, a bit reluctant to eat the stuff.

I'm going to guess, that even with these guidelines, people are going to continue naming diseases using monikers they can remember.  H1N1 just isn't that catchy.  If the scientists won't do it then the public will.  We just like our names.  Bovine spongiform encephalopathy?  Nah.  Mad cow disease?  Oh yeah.  Not only is it catchier, but it reminds me of why I've not allowed my children to eat hamburger since (just to be on the safe side).